Telephone
by YaoiIsLove
Summary: A simple conversation over Tyra Banks escalates into something more…interestingly awkward.


Title: Telephone

Rating: M

Pairing: Blaine/Kurt

Summary: A simple conversation over Tyra Banks escalates into something more…interestingly awkward.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything at all.

AN: Sooooo yeah, I thought I'd be able to resist writing smut for this pairing. I really thought I could (You shush lil sis…you know I'm a perv)…but, I succumbed to the gutter and wrote this little tidbit. It was originally supposed to be serious but kind of snowballed. Either way, I hope you all enjoy. OH! And please do tell me if I should stop writing Klaine smut fics and stick with fluff. (Admittedly has ANOTHER smut fic floating around in her head)

Telephone

Kurt sighed in annoyance, turning off the TV. His dad poked his head out from behind his newspaper. "You done watching TV? Pawn Stars is about to come on."

"Yeah, dad, I'm done watching TV," Kurt nodded, standing up. "I'm going to go call Blaine."

"Don't stay on the phone to long," Burt told him as he disappeared down the stairs.

Pulling out his I-phone Kurt slid his finger across the screen, tapping Blaine's name. The phone rang twice before his friend answered. "Hello?"

"Did you watch Tyra?"

Blaine laughed. "Unfortunately. She's kind of my guilty pleasure even if she seems more focused on herself than anything."

"I don't know whether to be offended or offended."

"Is this your first time seeing the Gay for Pay episode? It's not as bad as the I Hate being Gay episode."

"I have no words for that episode," Kurt told him. "That was far more offensive than the gay for pay episode. I will NOT get a sex change. I like being a guy. I may be effeminate but that doesn't mean I WANT to be a woman."

"That Shane was under the delusion that gay men are all effeminate. I'm gay and I'm not effeminate, even if I like theatre."

"I like that about you," Kurt admitted, hoping the blush he had on his face wouldn't translate over the phone. "Anyways," he continued, wanting to change the subject. "How could he NOT be attracted to male anatomy and still have sex with men? I don't understand."

"Let's try to think about it from his point of view, if you were going to decide to be straight when you turned 30..."

"I wouldn't DECIDE something like that."

"Hypothetically, Kurt, if you WERE who would be the one girl you think you could deal with? Mercedes?"

Kurt looked up at the ceiling, thinking for a moment. "Quinn Fabray."

"Really?"

"She's fabulous, but I wouldn't be able to bring myself to have a sexual relationship with a woman. I couldn't get excited making out with Brittany, but I got turned on by you singing Teenage Dream."

"Really now? My voice turns you on?" Blaine chuckled, his voice a low husk in Kurt's ear.

Kurt blushed brighter than a cherry tomato, burying his face into a pillow. "W-what I meant to say was..y-you're a-attractive to me. GUYS are attractive to me not women and…this has turned awkward."

Blaine laughed, a sound of a door closing and locking floating through the ear piece. "So today's Tyra?"

"U-ummm…yeah, straight guys having sex for cash."

"Gay for Pay, but really it's obvious to tell who is straight and who is not. I understand the purpose behind it, but honestly it's so unrealistic it's a turn off."

"You've watched porn?" Kurt asked in disbelief.

"Haven't you?"

"NO!" Kurt practically yelled. "I mean I may have glanced at it, but I've never watched it. I'm not Noah Puckerman."

"Calm down, Kurt, it's just porn. I've actually watched both gay and straight porn. I will never understand why straight guys watch porn together, either way, bad experience with straight porn. I literally threw up the moment the camera panned down to the woman's vagina."

"Seriously?" Kurt smiled, feeling a little less embarrassed by the conversation.

"Yeah. It was disgusting. The man spread open the labia and…ugh…my stomach churns just thinking about it. It was just…"

"Bile?"

"Yeah. Bile. Gay porn is definitely a turn on for me, seeing as I'm gay, but gay for pay is a complete turn-off. For every 400 bad scenes there is 1 good scene. The first thing that gives away straight guys is that they can't stay hard, they don't get hard, and usually there's some kind of straight porn in the background playing. The bottoms are laying there staring at the ceiling as if to say 'is it over yet'. With that in mind, these men should not be paid for this line of work because honestly they are doing nothing to help the gay community like they think they are."

"That angered me so much. Getting paid money for having sex with another guy means you are for gay rights? And they had the audacity to say they are completely straight?" Kurt sighed, playing with his fringed pillow.

"Some I believe would be, others need to stop fooling themselves and admit they are bi."

"You know what? I'll stick to watching Ellen Degeneres and the over rated drama of Maury Povich from now on."

"Sounds like a safe bet. More often than not Tyra Banks is going to piss someone off, she usually does. My mom went on for days about how Tyra's weight and beauty episode was just a way to make Tyra look good."

Kurt laughed, rolling over onto his side. "Just curious, but what makes a porn good? I mean, it seems like an overrated masturbation tool to me."

"That's exactly what it is," Blaine laughed. "If porn can be defined as 'good' then I'd say I like actual storyline to it. I maybe a sucker for storyline but I like the slow sensual kissing. I know you've only had a bad experience with kissing but believe me when you kiss a guy and feel his tongue against yours, rolling around your own, it's incredible."

"Y-you have a lot of experience w-with that?"

"Just with my ex, we never had sex or anything, but we did make-out. I like making out. I like having another tongue in my mouth, one to suck on, especially when my lover is a whiner."

"Uh-huh," Kurt nodded, feeling himself getting aroused at the thought of Blaine sucking on his tongue.

"I'm sorry this had turned terribly awkward. Maybe we should stick to talking about gay rights and our interests?"

"We're both interested in guys," Kurt pointed out, getting up from his bed and quickly running to close his door. He jumped back on his bed, climbing under the sheets, even if it would wrinkle his clothing.

"That we are. Then how about tell me something you like in a prospective partner, doesn't have to be sexual."

"I guess I like a guy whose voice makes me smile and feel warm." Blaine. "A guy who I can't help but smile at." Blaine. "A guy who has things in common with me but is more masculine than me." BLAINE! "But not really beefy or huge enough to squash me. A guy that would be gentle and loving."

"Sounds nice."

"Mm-hmm," Kurt agreed. "You know, I've never had sex, so I wonder…"

"Neither have I, not all the way at least, so I wouldn't be able to tell you how it feels to have sex with another guy."

"But you've watched porn, how does it work in that?"

"You shouldn't base reality on porn, I'm sure it's completely different."

"I'm just curious as to some of the mechanics, I mean I get the general idea but…"

"Kurt," Blaine husked. "Just watch it yourself."

"That would be awkward."

"More awkward than asking me," Blaine asked, disbelief and something else lacing his tone.

"Yes! I trust you, you're my friend, and you're actually gay so I can trust your opinions."

"I-it's the basics," Blaine stuttered, startling Kurt. The Dalton lead wasn't one for stuttering. "Making out, undressing, foreplay, then intercourse."

Kurt rolled his eyes, scoffing in exasperation. "I could have told you that."

"What do you want me to say? You want details about how in good scenes they'll grind their cocks together groaning in desire? Or how a hungry bottom gives an amazing blowjob?" he husked out, his breath coming out as obvious pants.

Kurt gulped heavily, his right hand sliding into his pants, while his left held the phone to his ear. "Yes!" he answered, wanting dirty details. He'd always found the idea of phone sex to be idiotic and impractical but at the moment he couldn't stop himself. "I want to know."

He heard Blaine gulp down a lump in his throat. "A thick cock sliding in and out between pink plump lips? A moan of want escaping the bottom's mouth as he bobs desperately on his lover."

"Ye-yeah," Kurt nodded, imaging the exact scenario but himself on his knees in front of Blaine.

"Thrusting into your mouth, you humming around me," Blaine husked, voice low with arousal.

"I want to taste you," Kurt whispered, squeezing his arousal, pumping hard and slowly. The awkwardness from before melted away, leaving only arousal and pure carnal need.

"I want to touch you, Kurt. I want to feel our bodies rubbing together. I want to kiss you, mark your body. I want our arousals touching, rubbing against each other in our desire."

"I want to feel you against me, Blaine," he admitted, moaning at how sensitive his erection felt under his own touch. "Throbbing against me, teasing me…"

"Kurt," Blaine moaned loudly into his hear, the faint sound of his hand moving against flesh audible.

"Blaine, touch me," Kurt whimpered, beginning to move his hand faster in desperation.

"I want to touch everywhere…I want to be inside you."

Kurt had to grab a pillow to muffle his loud moan of desire, as a wave of pleasure raked his body. "Take me! Blaine…god…_Blaine…"_

"Come," Blaine ordered. "Imagine me inside you, pulsing hot and hard. Slamming into your prostate."

A loud high pitched moan escaped Kurt's throat as his body reacted to the imagery, sending him over the edge in orgasm. Blaine's own groan of completion followed, having succumb to the sound of Kurt's own orgasm.

Kurt didn't know what to say. They had been just friends till right now. Were they really that attracted to each other to do something as crass as phone sex? Getting off to listening to each other masturbate?

"Sorry Kurt, but I can't bring myself to find this awkward. I was physically attracted to you the moment I saw you, and now I have to have you for real; now that I know what you sound like in the heat of passion."

Kurt blushed, withdrawing his hand from his pants, grimacing at the soiled digits. "A-are yo-your parents home?"

"Yeah."

Kurt deflated a bit.

"But they are taking my brother out to a congratulatory dinner for making a 170 on his LSAT, so…"

Jumping up from his bed, he balanced his phone between ear and shoulder, running to wash his hands. "I can be there in just over an hour?"

"Get here faster or I just might have to start without you," Blaine teased.

"I'll be there," Kurt told him, hanging up his phone and grabbing his car keys. When his dad asked where he was going Kurt partially lied telling him that Blaine just got the deluxe collectors edition to the Sound of Music with two never heard songs. He couldn't very well tell him he was about to lose his virginity to a boy he's known for upwards of two months, that would just be awkward. Burt bid him goodbye, telling him to be home by 11.

As Kurt made the drive out to Westerville he thanked the evil dwarf in its teapot for Tyra Banks. Tonight would literally be the best night of his life, with the greatest man to happen to him, and he there was no way he could regret this.

-The End-


End file.
